Winegrower

Off the Cuff

So, you want to make wine?

Not just your run-of-the-mill Two Buck Chuck, but good, even great wine.

Only after a few years’ experience did I realize how monumental the Miracle at Cana truly was. (John 2:1-11 for those who need a place and reason to begin the study of enology).

I have been through seasons like 2018, when a near-continuous rain meant the fruit was severely compromised with rot. Although not of the same magnitude, it was a minor miracle that red wine of any sort, came of that Virginia vintage.

On the other had, if you find a bottle of 2010 Virginia red, pay any price: it was one of the memorable vintages of the last 25 years.

And, bear in mind: winemaking is the world’s second oldest profession, although I have known winemakers who cross-train…

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I promised to teach you to make good wine.

Very straight forward, if you learn what matters early. You can also choose the route of learning from your own mistakes, but that involves some pain.

First, the grapes: hope you are not in a hurry.

Don’t be like me and gradually absorb the most important lessons over time. It is likewise easy for the untutored novice to make catastrophic errors that result in economic loss, both in the vineyard and ion the cellar.

Let’s do the math.

A 1000-liter fermentation tank (the factor 3.785 converts liters to gallons). Each bottle of wine contain 0.75 liter and costs about 25-40.00. That would potentially be 1,333 bottles times 40.00, or something over 53,000.

If a new intern fails to close the drainage value properly at the end of the day, that 53K goes down the drain by the next morning.

Don’t do that.

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Furthermore, let’s talk a little about fruit.

Any average value for grape yield in this part of the country is about 2-5 tons per acre of established vines. (There are fudge factors like vine density and trellis spacing but let’s make it simple). Also, any winemaker that insists you can only make good wine if the yield is held to 3 tons/acres, I will call out as a doctrinaire fool.

You know who you are.

So say, 3 tons per acre.

On the open market come September, October and November, a ton of premium quality wine grapes can be had for about 2500-3200 per ton.

You can’t just go to a supermarket, either.

It helps to have friends among winemakers and vineyard managers, with a known reputation for both fruit quality and honesty: great fruit is the limiting factor in making great wine.

I remember a trip to Chateau d’Yquem (Bordeaux, France, for those who don’t recognize it) when the winemaker there proclaimed a great truth.

Anyone can make good wine from time to time. But it takes a great winemaker to consistently produce great wine, year in, year out…

They should know.

More snippets from the Bordeaux technical tour later, I promise.

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So a back of the envelope or dinner napkin calculation is something like 9,000 pounds per acre of grapes that want processing when ripe, which is another factor we will look at later.

A question that always arises on cellar tours is, how many grapes to make a bottle (or glass) of wine?

Once again (some will drop out here, but the engineers, the MBAs and wine snobs, listen up), we will do the math.

A single grape weighs something like 1-2 grams. A cluster weighs a few pounds. Some vines will yield ten clusters on each of two cordons. Twenty pounds per cordon, and two cordons is forty pounds per vine.

(Stop a moment: we will effortlessly swing between US and metric. If you really want to do this, bear in mind: 2.2 lb/kilogram/1000 grams. One gallon is 3.785 liters. A hectoliter is 100 liters. An acre of area is 0.4047 hectare. Conversely, a hectare is about 2.5 acres. Grab your calculator phone to fact check if you wish).

Experience tells us that a ton of grapes yields about 150 gallons grape juice.

For the hell of it, I will state off the top of my head, 159 grapes/glass of wine and about 800 grapes per bottle. A cluster has about 100 grapes, so about 8 grape clusters per bottle.

And yes, it is not so simple.

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Are you exhausted yet?

Notes on who can (or should) make wine?

Some wine consultants claim those with no technical background can be taught to properly keep up wine between harvest and bottling. This depends very much on the persons involved, their commitment to detail and their level of responsibility.

Let us start, as a friend always does, with the time factor.

In addition to being former owner of a large vineyard and small winery, he dealt in real estate.

His first task was to attempt to talk prospective winery buyers out of their decision. Processsing the transaction would proceed only if he failed.

The industry is saturated with aphorisms.

The way to make a small fortune with a winery, is to start with a large fortune.

A vineyard is planted for your grandchildren.

Those with a huge ego and fortune, buy a professional sports team. Those with a huge ego and less, buy a winery.

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After planting, it takes 2-3 years before they bear fruit.

That means, the business runs in the red for three years before any return can be expected.

Once again (and this is the second time of my asking), are you exhausted yet?

If you are unable to write or respond due to (acceptable excuses only), broken wrist, vision impediment, as serious emotional disorder, blink once for yes, and twice for no…

Anyhow.

Stay tuned: we are just warming up.

(Quiz next Thursday: just sayin’).